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Many years ago, a friend wrote a semi-autobiographical novel. She turned this in for a creative writing assignment. Although almost everything in the story really happened, the professor said her story was unbelievable. She was incensed. And I thought it strange. Why wouldn’t the truth be believable?
Recently another writing friend told me she has met a lot of new writers who want to write their own life story, thinly veiled as fiction. Some great or terrible thing happened to them, and they feel called to share it with the world. My friend keeps telling them they need to learn story craft first. But she isn’t sure they are convinced.
All of this led me to think about what I will not write about. There is one line I will not cross: I won’t write about myself. Not directly.
A few reasons why:
1. Criticism: To be honest, criticism, which is an inevitable in writing, would hit too close to home if I wrote about myself. It’s one thing to have people dislike a world or characters I made up, but quite another to have people hate me. (Although I know that might be inevitable with fiction as well.)
2. Reliving difficult or even happy circumstances. In Emma, Mr. Knightley says, "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more." That’s how I feel about certain parts of my life, especially the dramatic moments. I’d rather treasure my memories in private.
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3. I see my past experiences as boring. I grew up in a small town. My life has been pretty ordinary. Maybe everyone’s feels like that. But if I’m not that interested in my childhood or past experiences, I wouldn’t bring a passion to my story that would make other people care.
4. I don’t like seeing myself in fiction. I purposely avoid books or movies that are too close to my lived experiences. I’d rather use my experiences to deepen my understanding a character rather than to tell my own story exactly as it happened.
5. When I get the urge to “tell people my story,” it’s often for the wrong reasons. Having an epiphany in my life often makes me want to enlighten others. But, people, not surprisingly, are not that interested in my epiphanies. Good stories, the ones everyone loves, always have a theme. But it’s so cleverly woven into the story that you hardly notice it.
That’s what I aim for when I’m writing. To write a story so captivating that you forget it’s not real.
As for other lines, I am a PG writer, because I write for kids and teens and because of my own Christian convictions.
How about you? Is there anything you would not write about?
What is Insecure Writer's Support Group?
Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and
concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been
through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven
for insecure writers of all kinds!
Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially
Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own
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your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others
who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your
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I see a lot of my life as boring too. Also, some times in my past and in recent years since I lost my husband have been painful. I'm not sure I'd want to relive them in a memoir.
ReplyDeleteMy life is also rather boring.
ReplyDeleteI don't insert myself into any of my stories. I'm the last thing I want to write about.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI haven't thought about writing about myself, yet. My life is filled with writing about the characters in my stories.
All the best.
Shalom aleichem,
Pat G @ EverythingMustChange
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more. There is nothing in my life interesting enough to write about, and I sure don't want to revisit my boring childhood. Thanks for the post.
ReplyDeleteI don't write about myself either, never wanted to. Objectively, my life might be worth a story, but I don't want to be the one to tell it. The reason for my reticence is that for a memoir to be any good, it should be very honest.
ReplyDeleteTo write a good memoir, I would have to disclose my deepest secrets of the heart and soul for everyone to see. I'm not ready for such nakedness. But if I lie about myself, if I try to show myself in a positive light always, it would be false, and no false writing is ever good.
When we write fiction, we also have to be honest, to open up our convictions and beliefs to our readers. Otherwise, our fiction fails. But at least our characters are imaginary. Such honesty doesn't scare me. I guess, when I write my fantasy or sci-fi stories, I'm sort-of hiding behind my heroes and their speculative fiction surroundings.
Memoirs are different: nobody to hide behind. I don't have enough courage to write about myself.
Interesting point about drawing the line at writing about yourself. I won't deny that there's some of myself in my main characters, and maybe in some of the others, too, but they aren't me, and their lives aren't mine.
ReplyDeleteI worked for a long time to write a novel based on my grandmother's early life, and couldn't get it off the ground at all, until I changed her name and gave myself permission to write it as a novel should go, not as it actually went.